Tuesday, September 29, 2020
Home comment Paul Abraham: Don't fall victim to the “everything is my fault” approach

Paul Abraham: Don’t fall victim to the “everything is my fault” approach

By Paul Abraham of www.headingonwards.com

When things go wrong, we sometimes start a list of ways we failed, ways we caused the problem. 

This kind of thinking not only can upset us, it can also keep us from being able to function. The truth is that any situation is the result of some things that are in your control and some things that are out of our control. 

Don’t delude yourself into thinking a bad situation is completely of your making.  Remember, it makes more sense to deal with outcomes than with fault.

Imagine you have friends coming for a meal, and the dishwasher is spurting out water. 

The flood is spreading across the kitchen floor, heading for the living room.  You instantly think to yourself “why did I have to do the dishes right now? Or, if I had washed the plates by hand, this wouldn’t be happening. 

If I had waited to use the dishwasher tomorrow, it wouldn’t be ruining the evening right now. It’s obvious, if only I had more sense enough to see the facts, why did I ever buy the dishwasher? I bet if I’d bought a different model, it wouldn’t be flooding my kitchen”

When things go wrong we look to lay blame, and often look in the mirror.  Psychologists have found that many of us fall victim to the “everything is my fault” approach to life. 

Two things we often overlook is how little we directly control a situation and how little value there is in spending our time blaming ourselves.  These thoughts do not fix the problem.  These thoughts do not make anything better. 

Blame is about the past; a plan of action to fix a problem is about is about the future. 

See the problem as a challenge and congratulate yourself when you have accomplished a successful outcome.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Recent Posts

£85k investment transforms school life for Bramley Park pupils

Children in Bramley returned to their classrooms after lockdown to discover a new £35,000 playground and £50,000 immersive sensory space had been...

Kirkstall: Abbey clean-up marks World Rivers Day

Volunteers help clean-up the riverbank at Kirkstall Abbey to mark World Rivers Day. World Rivers Day is a celebration...

Leeds Liverpool Canal: Charity launches Stay Kind, Slow Down campaign

The Canal & River Trust has launched an online campaign appealing for people riding bikes on towpaths to take it easy and...

Pudsey Pumpkin Festival set to be spooktacular, despite social distancing

Hallowe'en is one of my favourite times of the year, writes Dawn Seary. I have always decorated our...

Stay Connected

2,447FansLike
404FollowersFollow
3,226FollowersFollow